The Devil's Carnival
by WhiteDragonWarrior
Summary: Criminal Consultant, Lucifer Morningstar, discovers a musical interpretation of Hell. Detective Chloe Decker encounters murders of an unusual nature. TDC inspiration, Lucifer (TV) setting.


**Author's Note:** I love the musical The Devil's Carnival, and I love the show Lucifer. So when a thought occured to me about a potential crossover, hilarity ensued.

 **Disclaimer:** All listed characters belong to their respected creators. With the exception of the killer. Spoiler-free. That'll be in the disclaimer at the end of the story.

* * *

Scene 1

Chloe's day was going fairly well as far as on-call shifts go. The morning was spent on quick chores while Maze went to get groceries. Actually, Chloe was sure half the money would go to booze, but at least her roommate was willing to do _some_ errands. A work in progress was not worth complaining over (unless she offers Trixie another cosmo, _then_ there will be problems). The early afternoon offered free hours of quiet and relaxation. Now, with Trixie picked up from school, the rest of the evening will be spent curled up on the couch, watching a movie her daughter borrowed from a friend. All in all, a peaceful and relaxing day.

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

At the sound of the knock, Chloe gave an apprehensive sigh before walking over to the door. Perhaps it would be too big a hope that it was just Dan or a neighbour asking for a favour?

"Lucifer."

Said friend grinned despite the lacklustre greeting. "Evening, Detective. Sorry to trouble you, but I don't suppose I could find Maze here? I've been calling her all day and she hasn't answered her phone."

She was almost relieved to hear his reason for coming over. "No, sorry. I think she's out bar-hopping tonight. Might be better to try tomorrow."

"She is one for a good night out, isn't she?" He joked.

"Hi Lucifer!" Trixie called out from down the hall.

"Hello, Child. So, what are you doing this evening?" He turned the question over to Chloe. "Something boring and safe, I imagine?"

Chloe ignored the implication. It was hard to tell at times if his comments were barbs or honest observations. Sometimes, though, Chloe found it best to just let those comments roll over. "Staying in. Watching a movie."

"Ya! You should come watch it, too. It's about you!"

Chloe had been ready to dismiss the request, but that last comment left the words dead on arrival.

Lucifer seemed about as confused as she was. Though there was a small amount of intrigue in his response. "About me?"

"Ya!" She ran a few quick paces to her bag and back to the front door. A DVD in hand was then offered to Lucifer. "It's really cool. I've seen it, like, a hundred times!"

Chloe gave a quick sweep of the cover. It was mostly black, with red and gold font spelling out the title: _The Devil's Carnival_. On it, there was several characters around the title. Though the largest figure was a stereotypical image of the devil, with what looked to be white face paint on his red skin.

"Except he doesn't really _look_ like you." Trixie noted with disappointment. "He's more like the actual devil. But he _is_ really cool."

Lucifer scoffed at the comment. "Listen, you little troglodyte, _I'm_ the real devil. _This_ ," he shook the DVD in the air, "is nothing but a cheap imitation. I mean, look at this. Curved claws and ram horns? How original! Bet he also forces innocents into doing his evil deeds, too."

The last comment faded from Chloe's attention as her pocket vibrated with a ring. While her daughter and friend argued back and forth, Chloe distracted herself with the call. After a thirty second summary and a quick jot-down of an address, Chloe hung the phone with a huff.

"You wouldn't think that if you-"

"Sorry, Monkey." Chloe cut the argument short. She flicked her eyes in Lucifer's direction. "Just got a call from the precinct. I have to go to work. Lucifer, you might as well come with me." She got down on one knee and gave her daughter a tight hug. "We'll have to have movie time later, okay?" She felt her daughter nod in understanding. On letting go, her eyes went back to the cover of the DVD. Just what kinds of movies has her baby been watching, lately? "Love you, Monkey. Don't stay up too long."

"O-kay. Love you, too" Trixie sighed.

"Alright." She put a hand at Lucifer's back and guiding him out the door. "I'll fill you in on the way over."

* * *

 _Sometime later that night._

"Hey, Maze, wanna watch a movie?"

After four seconds of staring at the cover, Maze gave out a laugh. ' _Oh, Lucifer's gonna_ _hate_ _this.'_

"Sure, let's put it on."

* * *

Scene 2

It's not an unusual scenario for Lucifer to find himself near a beautiful woman. Particularly with said beautiful woman naked, bent over a table, with cuffs keeping her legs spread open and hands firmly on the table to allow her back and bottom open for punishment under the whip. As far as corpses in a warehouse go, however, that's a different story.

"Somebody's had a little more punishment than they could handle." Lucifer playfully remarked, admiring the red welts and lash-marks contrasting the woman's pale skin.

"Seriously, Lucifer?" Chloe snapped, her attention drawing away from her analysis of the crime scene. "We're investigating a murder. Not admiring some whackjob's 'technique'!"

"Well I'm sorry, detective, but I'll have to disagree. Surely if this woman was beaten to death it's worth looking over how our killer managed to pull it off."

"She wasn't beaten to death." Ella's voice called offhandedly. Her eyes remained fixed on the woman's face as it lay on the table, out of view from the detective and devilish consultant. "Bruising at the back of the neck and froth at the mouth suggests death by drowning."

"Drowning?" The detective finished zipping up a piece of evidence and walked over to Ella's side of the table. It didn't take long for Ella to demonstrate a small pool of water still locked in the dead woman's cheek. "Whoever did this could have killed her in plenty of different ways. So why go with drowning?"

"Dunno." Ella shrugged. "Seems a whole lot of trouble keeping her head in a bowl long enough to pull it off. Especially in this position. It would've made more sense if our killer had at least tied the victim's hands behind her back."

"You think there's something significant with the way she was restrained?"

"Possibly." Ella replied. "That, or our perp has some weird drowning BDSM fetish."

"Well, as far as bondage games go, drowning wouldn't be high on my list." Lucifer added in. He paused a moment. Thoughtful. "Now, Maze, on the other hand…"

"Got an ID on our vic!" Dan interrupted the line of thought. The cop weaved his way through evidence tabs on the concrete floor. "Kathleen Merrywood. 32. Last known address in Chicago."

"That was fast." Chloe noted. "Did you find her wallet?" It was a relief to hear. So far the crime scene was bare of any identification. There were torn remains of clothing, sure. A black dress, red boots, a fur coat, and excessive amounts of jewelry; but, until now, they hadn't been able to find anything to identify the body.

"Nope." Dan replied. "But the database had her on file. Our victim, here, happens to be a jewel thief with hits going off across the country."

"Ah, so our innocent victim is not quite so innocent after all." Lucifer purred. "I do so love a tale of crime and punishment!"

Chloe considered Dan's findings as her eyes roamed across the crime scene. "Which begs the question if it's related to her death? Could be a job gone wrong. A partner double-crossing her or whoever hired her cutting loose ends?"

"Or one of her victims looking for revenge?" Dan added. Chloe nodded. All three were viable possibilities. That said, the way the body had been laid out and killed seemed to tell a different story. Nothing could be certain just yet. "We'll take everything back to the lab and talk to any potential witnesses before pushing any one theory. We'll find out who did this."

* * *

Scene 3

For the next few hours Chloe went through the motions of the case. Canvassing witnesses (or lack of, anyways), going through tapes that were clearly tampered with, running background checks on the vic -several, actually, as Merrywood ended up being one of many aliases the thief's picked up over the years-, and was now forced to wait for Ella to get back to her on test results from the crime scene. From the sound of things it was going to take a while. Enough time that she managed to convince Lucifer on taking a quick trip home to make sure Trixie was alright.

"Don't you have some grand list of babysitters to look after her?" Lucifer complained as they drove up the street.

"Yes. Most of them are busy and weren't expecting a call since I had the day off; and the only person I _could_ get ahold of could only stay a couple of hours." She fired back. "I'll be quick. If Maze is there, there's nothing to worry about. If not, I'll ask my neighbour to let her spend the rest of the night there."

"Fine. And if Maze _is_ there, I'll be giving her a chat about answering my calls!"

A few minutes passed and soon they were rolling up the driveway and off inside the house. The first thing Chloe noticed were that the lights were off and there was music coming from the TV. She walked over to find her daughter and Maze sitting on couch munching on popcorn.

"Hey, Decker, you're late." Maze called off her shoulder, her arm sticking out to offer her a handful of popcorn. "We already started the movie."

Chloe turned her attention to the screen. A pale guy in a greaser costume complete with… _is that a plastic wig_ … was singing to a girl in an equally 1950's hairdo wearing a gaudy blue dress. He was also, it seems, tying the girl up to a colourful wheel. Okay, really, just what has her daughter been exposed to lately?

"Maze! There you are!" Lucifer scolded as he walked in the room. "I've been calling you all day a-"

"Shh!" Maze cut him off. A look of malicious glee on her face. "Don't interrupt the movie!"

Lucifer readied to argue back, just in time for the music to stop and a clown-faced devil to appear.

" **The frog askes-"**

" **How do I know you won't stab me?"** Came the image of the girl.

" **The scorpion replies-"**

" **Because my act is dead without you."** The greaser smiled and offered the girl a wink. There was even a twinkling sound effect to go along with it.

"Hold on." Lucifer looked to them in indignation as the music started again. "Is this that carnival movie?"

"Yup." The grin still fixed on Mazikeen's face.

"Why on Earth are they singing?"

"It's a musical." Trixie chirped.

"A musical?" His tone raised in insult. "About Hell! What madman would come up with such an atrocity?"

"I dunno." Mazed shrugged "If you ask me their Hell is pretty accurate."

" _Accurate?_ Have you _lost_ your _mind_?"

"Shh! You're missing it!" Trixie complained. Stopping them just in time as the greaser flung a knife at the wheel. It missed the girl, as did the next two. Only for him to pull out a switchblade and throw it straight into the girl's chest. Killing her instantly.

"Well that was… charming." Chloe muttered to herself. A part of her was glad she'd missed part of the movie. Though it might be best to look it over at some point and give Trixie a talk about what she puts on TV. "Maze, are you going to be here the rest of the night?"

"Ya, we're fine Decker. You go on with your detective stuff." She waved them off. "I'll be sure to tell you all about it later, Lucifer." She directed that comment with laughter in her voice.

Lucifer, in turn, looked about ready to start fuming. Chloe ended up pulling him away before he could launch into a rant. ...In front of Trixie and Maze, that is. Chloe, unfortunately, ended up getting the brunt of his whining on the way back to the precinct.

There was one exception to the car ride of bickering, however, when she got a call from the precinct. There's been another murder.

* * *

Scene 4

"I was hoping the call would be about test results." Chloe commented dejectedly as they walked into yet another warehouse for the second time that night.

"Well, it would have gone to someone else;" the onsite cop explained "but, considering the location and unusual circumstances, we had a feeling that this was done by the same guy."

"Unusual, how?" The detective asked.

"You'll see." Was all the officer replied with.

They turned the corner, and Chloe stopped dead in her tracks. Lucifer, himself, made a couple extra steps forward before stopping to look at the body. Their latest vic was a woman, early 20's by the look of it. Her body was strapped to a red carnival wheel studded with knives, with the exception of one knife sticking out of her chest. Around the wound was dried or drying blood leaking down her dress. A blue dress. _The_ blue dress.

"Lucifer," She mumbled quietly, "you don't think-"

"That more than one person owns that hideous outfit?" He finished. "Certainly doubt it."

* * *

Scene 5

"Well, I can tell you one thing for sure," Ella remarked as she guided Chloe and Lucifer into her lab the next morning, "whoever this guy is is pretty redundant when it comes to killing people.

"The cause of death was definitely a knife to the heart." She planted herself in front of a tray and lifted a black-handled knife on display. "But, here's the weird part, the knives were laced with a powerful dose of scorpion venom. Even if the killer nicked her on the side she'd have been dead in a few hours."

"Maybe he's a lousy shot most of the time, and wanted to be sure it'd kill her." Lucifer suggested.

"Maybe. But it's still a weird way to go. The drowning was one thing; but _this_ is a clear sign our killer is in it for the attention."

"And has terrible taste in films." Lucifer quipped.

"What?"

"Oh, right, you weren't there. Seems our killer is obsessed with some _horrid_ musical interpretation of me. The knives, the frog dress."

"The girl in that movie died the same way." Chloe answered to the point.

"So our killer is trying to recreate murders from a movie?" Ella frowned a moment, only to give a half-hearted shrug. "It's L.A., wouldn't be the first time. Still doesn't explain the scorpion venom, though. Did the movie have that, too?"

"No, just the knives and the wheel-"

"Hold on." A thought occurred to Chloe at Lucifer's comment about the dress. " _The frog asks 'how do I know you won't stab me'. The scorpion replies 'because my act is dead without you.'_ The killer _was_ the scorpion!"

Ella looked at her strangely. "You mean like ' _The Scorpion and The Frog'_?"

"What?" Chloe and Lucifer asked in unison.

" _Scorpion and the Frog._ " Ella repeated matter-of-factly. "The Aesop fable. You know, ' _The Boy Who Cried Wolf'_ , stuff like that. I read them a lot as a kid."

Chloe mulled the thought over, before asking Ella to elaborate on the story. From what she explained, the story goes that a scorpion asks a frog to give him a ride across a pond. The frog refuses, fearing the scorpion will sting it to death. The scorpion argues that killing the frog would cause the scorpion to drown, too, so he wouldn't risk it. The frog agrees to trust the scorpion and takes him for a ride; but, halfway through, the scorpion stings the frog. When the frog musters up the energy to ask 'why' the scorpion admits that he couldn't help it as it's in his nature to sting.

"Which explains that whole 'trust me' bit in the song." Chloe noted. "I don't suppose you can think of any stories that'd relate to the first vic?"

"Not sure. There are a couple that involve drowning." She admitted. "Was there anything like that in the movie?"

"We didn't see the whole movie, just the one scene."

Chloe and Lucifer exchanged a look. What they needed to do next was obvious.

"No." Lucifer answered before she could ask. "No, no, _absolutely not!_ "

* * *

Scene 6

" _This_ is what Trixie wanted you to watch?" Dan asked. His confusion was palpable, and well warranted at that. It was only on the first song yet it was already going straight to violence by way of a man slitting his wrist while two women were quite likely about to be shot.

"Yup." Was all that Chloe responded with. She adjusted her position in the small, crowded room to keep a clear view of the television.

"I can't believe you agreed to watch this."

"I can't believe Paul Sorvino's in this." Ella added in. "What's he supposed to be, anyways?"

"God." Maze clipped, though edged with a hint of delight.

"God? Him?" Lucifer scoffed. He shared a look with Maze as she mumbled something to him. From the corner of her eye, Chloe noted his body language relaxed as he gave in with a small shrug and put his hands in his pockets. "Well, he's certainly got the ego for it, I can't deny that."

The scene soon ended, complete with a title reel for _The Devil's Carnival_. Chloe watched intently as the next scene unfolded. The man from the first scene had woken up in Hell, followed by a scene showing the girl in the blue dress.

Off to the side, Lucifer chortled. "Even _she_ thinks the dress is awful! I suppose I'll have to give the film some credit in that."

"Not now, Lucifer." Chloe shot off, her eyes never leaving the screen. It was a good thing, too, as the scene changed again to the second woman. Said woman now dressed in fur and piles of sparkling necklaces. The woman turned, and found a letter labeled _Merrywood_.

"Kathleen Merrywood." Dan almost whispered. He shared a quick look with Chloe before going back to the TV. "She must've gotten her name from this."

Chloe nodded, pondering. "How much do you wanna bet that Tammy Richards' full name is Tamara?" She whispered back, in reference to their second victim and the blue-dressed actress.

"It's possible."

"Which means that _John_ here," she gestured about the man at the start of the film, "might represent a third victim."

"Let's hope we can get enough info to stop that from happening."

They turned their full attention back to the film and watched as it progressed. Lucifer or Maze would make an odd comment here or there; but, otherwise managed to remain civil for the first third of the film. Patterns were solidifying as they went on. Each person had a vice. A klepto who'd steal at every opportunity, a naive girl who'd continually trust a man who was _quite clearly_ a dangerous person; and a man overwhelmed with finding his missing, possibly dead, son. It was enough to go on that Chloe was able to pause the movie and instruct another officer to put out a search for any missing John that may or may not also be missing a son and/or had a record of self-harm. It wasn't much, but it could give them a head start on stopping a third murder while they continued with the rest of the film.

" **Ah! You're just in time for a story!"** The Devil greeted a young, street-worn kid as he sat before him. " **This one is called The Dog and Her Reflection."**

"Oh" Ella exhaled, "that makes a lot of sense!"

The detective moved to ask if Ella was referring to a fable, but the Devil began the story before the words could come out.

" **It happened, one day, that a dog was carrying some jewels in its mouth across a plank over some running water. So enamored by what she saw in the water, the dog failed to recognize her own reflection."**

Water? Could that be why the victim was killed by drowning? Then why the rest of the theatrics? Chloe had to force herself from moving to ask for details. Watching intently as Merrywood was, as Maze called it, put on trial for her sins.

"Well, that explains the bondage and beatings our first vic went through." Ella noted as Merrywood faced her 'punishment'.

"You found the body like that?" Maze asked.

"Yes, though with less clothing and more lashes." Lucifer answered.

"Heh, obviously. These guys are pretty tame on the hits." The critique spoke of experience. Not that it surprised Chloe. This was Maze, after all. "That said, it'd be awesome to have a crowd cheering me on like that."

"I bet it would." Lucifer tossed in. "Maybe we should get a special event at Lux and give a proper show." and _that's_ about when Chloe tuned out that part of the conversation and went back to the movie.

(Much as she wouldn't admit it out loud, it helped that the singer used for the punishment scene was honestly very talented. According to Ella, the guy is from a popular heavy metal band called Five Finger Death Punch, which kinda explains how he ended up in a movie like this. It made up for the fact that she was now watching a woman getting whipped in Hell. Almost.)

When the song ended, the Devil announced The Scorpion and the Frog. With the exception of the odd comment about the girl's naivety (and a desire from the 'Hell' side of the TV room to buy a copy of the Doll carney's dress) the next victim and trial passed without much note.

The Devil returned briefly, just enough time to make another announcement.

" **This is our final story, Daniel. The Devil and His Due."**

"Which one is that?" Chloe asked in the quiet but ominous music that followed. She needed to know, and fast. Whatever happens next could shape the way this case would go.

Ella fumbled at the question. "Eh, that's not one I know."

"I do." Lucifer muttered, almost to himself. "Oh, that poor, pathetic man."

The solemn tone threw Chloe off, and she turned to look at him. "Lucifer?"

"It's not the Devil," he clarified, "it's Grief." His eyes were transfixed on the screen as John walked towards a path beckoning both an exit and the story's title. "It's not murder we should be worrying about, Detective. ...That man's going to kill himself."

" **Didn't I warn you,"** One of the carnies patronized, " **that cutting is against the rules?"**

A shiver went down Chloe's spine. The timing of that line was just too perfect to be a coincidence. It took all of her willpower to stay in her seat. She wanted to go _out there_ and find their John before this could happen! Without a lead, though, Chloe knew she'd end up running in circles rather than be able to stop the killer in time. So stay, she did, and watched what followed.

* * *

Lucifer's POV

Up until the moment the Detective pressed play on the DVD, Lucifer had vehemently argued against being subjected to watch this _quite literal_ clownish interpretation of himself and Hell. Even as it played Lucifer critiqued it with much derision. The music, the costumes, the carnival, the corny sound effects, the bloody lot of it felt like an insult meant to mock him. A part of him silently swore at finding every copy of this film just to burn it to the ground!

And, yet -that there was even an 'and yet' should have been shocking enough- he had to admire that there were some ... _accuracies_ in its interpretation. (Similarities? Goodness no! That would be insanity in and of itself!) This wasn't a place of punishing only the most wicked of sinners. Dear Old Dad always had it in for those minor deviants that most humans would shrug off as natural, and the over-trusting Tamara was no different in that regard. It's repetition of temptation was another aspect that surprised him. In Hell, one is subjected to their worst moments over and over again. This carnival wasn't quite as literal in that regard, but the subject matter of the temptations remained the same. Then, of course, there are the punishers. That they exist was the only consistency, however. His demons are wicked, cruel, and skilled in the arts of agony unlike anything this world can imagine. This… musical, shudder at the thought, took things at a far gentler level. With it's singing and dancing and general restraint on punishment. There was also that unusual chap obsessed with rules and regulations. He seemed less a demon and more of how he'd imagine Amenadiel would be like if he ever went through with taking over Hell. Actually, that thought was rather hilarious. Had this film not been so musically-inclined, he may have been tempted to show his brother what his potential future could look like.

The film was drawing to a crescendo with the final sinner. The man, John, had become fully engulfed within the fable. It was only a matter of time, now.

" **Have you come to give Grief her due?"** The mockery of Lucifer asked of John.

" **What is this place? Who are you?"**

"Kind of obvious, dude." Ella commented under her breath.

Except, no, it _wasn't_ obvious. Much as Lucifer enjoyed mocking the film, he knew how things worked in Hell. Millions of souls trapped, yet most never even know that they are dead. They just go through a cycle of denial. Those questions asked over and over again.

" **My dear, petty man. I've been called many things. The chaos in the story, the anarchy in your thoughts; but, for you, John, I am the excuse you give when you cannot follow the rules."**

That comment dug like a thorn at his side. A reminder of those infuriating accusations thrown at him whenever some daft human tried to blame _him_ for their own incompetence and sin. As if the fools are somehow entirely devoid of free will!

The seconds passed. A childish exchange of clown gags interrupting what ought to be a serious moment.

" **No!"** John broke through. " **You hurt my son, so help me God, I will kill you!"**

" **WATCH YOUR TONGUE!** **I** **am not in the business of murdering innocent children. That's** **God's** **jurisdiction. I deal only with the guilty, Guilty John."**

Lucifer couldn't contain the smirk on his face. That, right there, may have just saved this movie into his good graces. It was so, so rare to hear a human speak the truth about his father. And with such delicious anger and unblinded truth on top of that! Credit where credit is due, he may just offer the scriptwriter a free night at Lux for that one.

As the scene moved forward, a knock at the door intruded on his attention. An officer opened the door partially and beckoned the Detective to come out. The Detective went to pause the film, though the others insisted that it wasn't necessary. They would fill her in should any important details emerge. Lucifer was tempted to join her, it would make a good excuse to leave; yet, to his surprise, he remained in his seat. Perhaps it was a matter of simple curiosity. That, or accepting the others' logic of gathering intelligence. Whatever the reason, Lucifer found himself unable to turn away from the scene before him.

* * *

Chloe's POV

"You got something?" Chloe asked as she shut the door behind her.

"A couple possible hints on our John Doe." The officer showed her the shortlist. "This second one is the most likely target. Got a call from one Judy Gallagher, says her husband went missing last night. No priors, but has been on a suicide watch in the past month."

"The reason?"

"Death in the family, just like you guessed. Their son was hit by a car three months ago.

"But that's not all. We may have a suspect." Shock and elation rolled through Chloe as the officer handed over another folder of notes. She read it over fast as the officer continued. "We heard back from the film's director, Darren Lynn Bousman, about that dress. It was a sold at an auction three years ago to one Malinda Wickham from Kentucky. An avid and well-known fan, the way he puts it, _and_ guess where she is this week."

The question was rhetorical. It was already clear on the form that Mrs. Wickham had a hotel rented out here in L.A. One that was conveniently close to the industrial part of town.

"We got her." The statement solidified a relief in her. "Put out an APB on Wickham. We'll need a squad out to find her and John Gallagher before it's too late."

* * *

Scene 7 (Lucifer's POV)

Within the next hour a call came in identifying Wickham's rental car at a warehouse nearby the other crime scenes. Another half hour later, Lucifer and the Detective were off in search of the wannabe hellraiser. They snuck about the place. The Detective keeping a sharp eye on their surroundings, gun in hand, while Lucifer kept half a mind of their surroundings as the rest drifted back to the film's ending. There's was no way to be sure if reality would match it or not. His best option was simply to make sure things turned out for the best.

As they drew further in, there came a sound of voices. A man's, shuddering and wet. A woman's, stern yet coaxing.

"I can't. It hurts too much."

They approached cautiously. The man was kneeling on the floor with his head bowed. He didn't seem to be tied in anyway. Though his hands each had a gentle hold of something. The woman, Wickham, was looking down on him from a few paces away.

"I know it hurts.

"So wouldn't it be better if it all just, ended?"

'Malinda Wickham!" The Detective announced, her gun aimed squarely on the killer. "You're under arrest for the murders of Tammy Richards and Kathleen Merrywood!"

Before she could finish that last syllable, Wickham twisted to face them, revealing a gun from her previously obscured hand, and fired on the two of them. They dodged, hiding behind some manufacturing equipment. As they turned again towards the scene, they saw Wickham flee further into the warehouse. John Gallagher, however, stayed as he was.

"You look after John, I'm going for Wickham!" Chloe instructed, running off after the killer.

Lucifer obliged. Jogging up to John to see if he needed help out of here. Like he suspected, John wasn't tied in anyway. On the contrary, there were cut bits of rope suggesting he'd already been freed. Yet the man didn't budge. He was fixed where he knelt, staring at a photograph of a boy in one hand. His other hand was holding a straight-edge razor.

"Hello there, it's John, isn't it?" He asked in faux cheer. "Don't worry, that hellion wannabe is gone, now. So how about you and me pop outside and go for a drink?"

The other man was slow to answer. "She's right. It'd be better to just end it."

A slight moment of panic brushed through Lucifer's body. "Now, now, don't be like that. Getting yourself killed isn't the answer, mate.

"John? John, look at me!" That seemed to snap the man out enough to look into Lucifer's eyes. "Tell me the truth, John. You don't want to die. So what is it you truly desire?" He fixed the compulsion into the man. John hesitated, but an answer always comes through.

"I… I just want to see my boy again." John broke out of the hold, turning his attention to the razor. "This can get me to him."

"Sorry to tell you, mate, but that's not the way this works. If you end your life right now, you'll never be reunited with your son."

John gritted his teeth and glared at Lucifer. "How would you know?"

"Let's just say I have an intimate understanding of the afterlife. Well, Hell, specific; and killing yourself is a one-way ticket to getting there.

"I'll let you in on a secret, John. Hell isn't all fire and brimstone. It's your worst memories and nightmares on repeat. So you won't be seeing your son. Just an image of him, and that car, over and over again. For eternity. That what waits for you if you end things now."

That reveal seemed to do the trick in shocking the man. He stared at Lucifer, wide eyed and trembling. John turned back to the photograph of his son. Fat tears fell across his cheek.

"What am I supposed to do?" He whimpered.

"Live." Lucifer replied. "Go home, make love to your wife, and live a good, honest, boring life; and, when you reach the end of your natural life, you can find your son and tell him all about the life you lived. You'll have an eternity of time to catch up with each other.

"So what do you say?" Lucifer extended his hand. "Ready to give living a shot?"

John lingered on the photograph, then nodded as another tear fell. He turned to Lucifer. Noticing the open hand, John relented, and gave him the razor. Lucifer then closed the razor, and used his free hand to pull John up to his feet.

"Good man!" he clapped him at the shoulder. His eyes flicked about the room, noting far off to the back wall that the Detective was cuffing Wickham's hands behind her back. "Now how's about you and I go for that drink?"

* * *

Scene 8

"Another day, another criminal behind bars." Lucifer toasted from a stool in Lux. Beside him, Maze was emptying her own glass.

"And all it took was putting up with a musical about Hell." She joked.

"Please," he scoffed, "if anything, that movie is entirely to blame for that murder spree! Hardly worth the effort, if you ask me."

"Bullshit! I was there. You could have left at _any_ time and didn't.

"Admit it," she jabbed, "somewhere it that stuck up head of yours, you _liked_ it."

He glared at her cheshire grin. "I did not ' _like_ it'." Frustrated fingers tapped on the counter. "I'll admit, it has some… accuracies. The casting choices weren't that bad, either."

"Mhmmm…"

"Come on, Maze! It's a bloody musical!"

"I know."

"Could you imagine, for even a second, us being in a musical?"

Mazikeen snorted at that. "Oh please, like you don't already prance around singing on the piano."

"That's just to seduce the girls!"

"Whatever, Lucifer." Maze waved him off as she poured herself another glass.

"Like I'm anything like that clown in the film." Muttering under his breath as he took another sip of his drink.

Maze scoffed in turn. "Why, cuz he's a better singer than you?"

Lucifer choked on his drink. Sputtering as drops landed on his suit. "Excuse me? How dare you!"

"What? He is. That voice is sexy." She took a drink. "I'd do him."

"Well that just proves you lack good taste." He jabbed back. Though it didn't seem to have any effect on Maze. It was further frustrating as he now ruined his suit. He hopped of the stool, heading in the direction of the elevator to get to his suite.

"So you _really_ didn't like it, huh?" Maze called after him.

"No!" He called off his shoulder.

"Probably for the best," Maze seemed to laugh under her breath, " _considering..._ "

"Considering what?" Lucifer decided to indulge the demon and turned back to face her. Though her eyes were focused elsewhere. Balanced in her hand was a DVD case. Though it wasn't ' _The Devil's Carnival'_. This one had Paul Sorvino on the cover, with the word ' _Alleluia!'_ inscribed below him.

"...considering I was gonna show you what they did with Heaven."

Passing a moment of shock, Lucifer marched back to the bar and swiped the DVD from her hand. He scanned the cover. _Considering_. He flicked his eyes over to Maze, a devilsih smirk growing on his face. "Give me five minutes to change. Then we are _absolutely_ going to watch this!"

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 **Author's Note:** The Devil's Carnival is a delightfully dark musical, and I highly recommend you buy and watch this series! Saying that, some of you may wonder why, then, did I seem to bash it during this story? The truth is, while I LOVE this movie, I firmly believe Lucifer Morningstar would despise the concept and most of the execution. It's in his nature to find an idea like this repulsive. Which made the concept of this story all the funnier.

But it also brings up the question: If he hates a musical interpretation of Hell, how would he react to an equally ridiculous interpretation of Heaven? The answer, he'd probably die laughing watching it.

 **Side Note:** I don't know about you, but I think if there was a Lucifer with Tom Ellis' looks and Terrance Zdunich's voice, odds are the whole world would be on their knees begging to be in his harem as willing slaves. Just saying.

 **Disclaimer Part 2:** I'd like to thank the wonderful Malinda Wickham for agreeing to be my story's killer. She's a big fan of this project and other works by Terrance Zdunich, and seemed a fitting choice for a fan-gone-wild killer.

Malinda, Murder be thy name!


End file.
